NOT LIKE THIS….
And if you are feeling like this, well, you should probably read on.
It’s all over – the most popular time of year to get engaged has come and gone, and this time you were included in the madness! First and foremost, congrats! It’s so exciting, isn’t it? HECK YES! For a few days, and then if you’re like me, the thought of a traditional wedding made you anxious and overwhelmed. So here you are, trying to figure out what it is that you do want, reading blog after blog looking for an answer. I gotchu, boo. Well, kind of. I can’t solve all of your problems, but as someone who had a unique wedding that was tiny as heck but didn’t compromise the things I wanted out of our day, I figured I could lend some insight.
If a traditional wedding is stressing you the eff out, eloping just might be for you. And, secret time: it doesn’t have to be lame, lacking in details, or boring. Nope. An elopement is every much of an excuse to go all out – just with less stress, less waste, and you can take the money you save from not having to feed 150+ of your friends and family and take a trip to Europe or South America. Really, it’s a great alternative. I’ve got lots of advice for planning, but that’s for another time. You can totally email me if you’re ready to chat.
So, in an effort to ease your stress and reassure you that you are normal and there is nothing wrong with you for not wanting to spend the next 10 months of your life stressed over details you don’t care about, here are 3 tips for the newly engaged couple trying to navigate what the heck they want.
1.) DON’T RUSH INTO A DECISION.
Dude. You’re newly engaged, and you should sit back and enjoy this, dang it! Tell everyone who keeps asking when you’re tying the knot to take a chill pill, and enjoy the season you’re in. Go on dates, flash that ring, find every way you can to show it off in selfies…I don’t care what you do, but I do care that you take time to savor the season. It’ll be over before you know it, and you should be able to remember all the feels. All the feels, babe.
2.) MAKE A LIST OF WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU
So, after you soak in all of the feels of this season you’re in, start making a list of priorities for your wedding day. If a day of low-stress matters, write it down. If spending it just the two of you is important, write it down. No shame in your game. This is your day and just in case no one else has told you yet, you get to call the shots. The people who love you will support you, and if they don’t? Not your problem. A few selling points worth mentioning though, are that you’ll save money, save waste (have I mentioned that the average wedding produces 600lbs of trash?!) and most importantly, you won’t be stressed out by seating charts and centerpieces. I mean, that’s just not my style, to be honest.
3.) CHOOSE WHAT WILL BRING YOU JOY
So this kind of ties into the last one, but seriously: choose the option that will bring you the most joy. You can say no to a giant wedding and still have the people you love there. If budget isn’t an issue, but you don’t want to be stressed, have a destination wedding and hire a planner in that country (and take me with you to photograph it, ha) to do all the work for you. But above all, choose what will bring you joy – not just temporary happiness, but joy. I look back on my wedding photos from atop a mountain at sunrise and I think to myself, “I am so glad we chose what made our hearts sing.” — and it’s true. I wouldn’t change a thing.
At the end of the day, it’s about you, and I want to encourage you to remember that. The two of you have to stand up for what sets your soul on fire, and dammit, your great aunt Margaret will get over it.
Happy whatever-you-want-to-do planning!